Well arrived in Dereören
After these 2 and a half months by bike, here I am in the village of Cansu in Dereören. I find her, her feet in the water, at the village river with Emre, her future husband, Nihat her brother, friends and Nermin her mother. The reunion is beautiful after two years. I think they are a little disappointed that I still don’t speak a word of Turkish… like last time, we will communicate using our hands and especially Google. That same evening I am immersed in the bath of Turkish festivities. We go to town to Havran to celebrate the nişan bohcasi of a couple that I don’t know. I discover this Turkish tradition, it is the engagement party. As very often, there are the men on one side, the women on the other. Everyone offers practical gifts for the future bride and groom and their future home: clothes, slippers, perfume, towels, sheets… the living room is overflowing with gifts. We are offered the çay (famous turkish tea) and small treats.
Wedding preparations
During this first week, I will be able to help prepare the wedding. The next day, I am ready to work hands-on. Here I am in the family cellar in the middle of all the women of the village. Another local tradition: before each wedding, all the women come to help the bride’s family prepare Mantis, Turkish ravioli. Sitting cross-legged in front of a mini wooden tablet, each has their role: the one who makes the dough, the one who rolls out the dough, the one who cuts it into small squares and the one who forms small ziguiguis. I am part of this last stage, I am learning, but I do not yet have the technique. I do not have their flexibility either! 2 hours sitting cross-legged, fortunately the good mood is there, I forget the pain. Superb moment which gives me the opportunity to meet the women of the village but also friends of the family who come from other villages. That week was also the opportunity to accompany Cansu to the city to make the final preparations and allow me to buy a beautiful dress for the wedding. I attend rehearsals of traditional dances, the photo shoot of the bride and groom which takes place in the beautiful streets of Ayvalik, not far from the sea. I am also present for their civil wedding. Cansu is magnificent in her white and sober dress. We meet everyone at the town hall, fortunately Nermin lent me clothes for the occasion because I would have looked a bit out of place in shorts/tank top. I do not understand a word of the speech of the “mayor”, but I understand “Evet”, yes in Turkish, pronounced by the bride and groom. A very beautiful moment in a small group with friends and their families under the gaze of Atatürk in picture behind them in black and white.
Let the party begin!
1st day of the wedding
And after “a few” vegetables to peel and cut – potatoes, tomatoes, green beans, onions – it is time to celebrate the wedding! Three days that will be intense, especially for Cansu and his family. From Friday evening, the courtyard of Nermin and Galip, Cansu’s parents, begins to fill up. In turn, small groups sit at the tables scattered around the courtyard and in the street to dine. On large trays, all the different preparations that are cooking in the big pots are arranged in bowls: Tavuk çorbasi (chicken soup), Ezme (tomato salad), yogurt pasta, meats, green beans all accompanied by bread, we feast. And we must gather our strength because after the meal we head to the village school to go dancing! This first evening is dedicated to the Henna evening. Cansu is wearing a beautiful beige dress for the occasion, Nermin lent me a beautiful blue dress – more suitable than the cyclist. First, it is mainly the women who take their places on the dance floor. Small groups form, I learn to dance by imitating them. Cansu dances in the middle of the small circles, she is not going to stop all evening! She also changes her outfit to wear a beautiful green dress, special for the henna evening. We take short breaks on the stools installed all around the dance floor. We also alternate with performances of traditional dances by the bride and groom and dancers. After the women, around midnight, it is the young men who dance. Their dance is more choreographic. The evening ends at Cansu’s parents’ house. Cansu puts on a red outfit called bindalli, symbolizing luck and positivity. She sits in the center of the living room, surrounded by many women from the village. Under beautiful moving music, two women put henna on the palms of Cansu’s hands and then under his feet. Emre enters the room. He has to carry her, carry her high so that she touches the ceiling before putting her on her bed. Nazire, a woman from the village, offers me to have henna in the palms of my hands too. So I fall asleep with brown hands.
2nd day of the wedding
Turkish wedding rhymes with eating. The second day is placed under this theme. We start in the morning with the kahvalti at 11am with Cansu and Hatice, a friend of Cansu. There are already people in the courtyard who have also come to have breakfast. Soups, rice/yogurt, potatoes, tomatoes/cucumber, cheese, olives, mantis with yogurt, it’s a feast, again. I play it strategic, and don’t eat too much to be ready to eat again later (and it doesn’t fail, a granny will come and offer me to eat a bite with her!). Today I spend time with the women of the village, who are still busy in the courtyard preparing the enormous pots. I meet Sevgi, a beautiful woman from the village opposite. We had made the mantis together and we danced a slow dance together the day before, it brings us closer. In the evening, it is time to get ready for a new evening. I take out my beautiful princess dress bought during the week. Green dress and heels, makeup, I don’t recognize myself. Now I’m a pro at Turkish dances, ready to dance all night. The evening is a bit similar to the previous evening, I recognize some of the music. I learn how to give gifts to the bride and groom: they stand in the center, ribbons are put around their necks, and everyone lines up to hang money bill/gold medals on the ribbons. I was a bit embarrassed, thinking I would find an urn. I spend a lot of time with Hatice who explains Turkish traditions to me and reassures me, I could hang money bill the next day.
3rd day of the wedding
And then it’s D-Day. Third intense day! It’s still hot. After a kahvalti with Nermin and other women from the village, I meet friends and family of Nermin and Galip. Then at 1pm it’s time for keşkek, a traditional Turkish ceremonial dish. A pot is placed in the centre of the courtyard filled with white beans. With two large wooden spatulas, they have to crush them. The young men from the village are invited to do it. In turn, they circle the pot in pairs, to the lively music of a drum and a flute. Each participant receives a towel on their neck after their effort. So I got my towel because for fun I’m trying it with Nermin. The gesture is not so easy. We add water little by little, it gets harder and harder and the pot gets fuller and fuller… And then there are some more gifted than others, sometimes there is as much on the floor (or shoes) as in the pot! A second pot is brought, and once the mixtures are ready, it is time to taste. The young men serve the large trays filled with bowls of rice, chickpeas, condiments and the famous keşkek. I have lunch with the cook, I am honored. We enjoy ourselves. Then we go back inside. Cansu, magnificent in a wedding dress, is in the living room, Nermin in the bedroom. The house fills up, the women of the village come to say goodbye to Cansu. She is going to move from her father’s house to her husband’s house. It is the moment of tears. Especially when Galip, her father comes to say goodbye to her, it was very moving. He puts a red belt around her waist to bring abundance and luck to her future home. This red belt and the red veil also symbolize purity and innocence, the transition from a young girl to a woman. And then lots of things happen! Galip takes his daughter, it is the turn of the men of the village to say goodbye to Cansu, then she is brought in Emre’s car under the Turkish flag. Nihat, Cansu’s brother, and his cousin, at that moment, negotiates money with Emre’s family: they must pay so that he lets his sister leave with them. Then a procession forms, we follow the young boys who dance in the streets before the bride and groom’s car leaves the village – under the Turkish flag. Before leaving to get ready for the last evening, the young boys who danced this afternoon and supported Nihat now ask him for a reward: Turkish pastries! So on their knees, they start a war cry (in Turkish, I don’t understand) but it works! Nihat gives them (after taunting them!) trays of baklava. And then finally everyone throws themselves on it, it must be said that it is delicious. It is time to get ready quickly, we leave for the groom’s village. A bus is even planned to take the people from the village. It is an hour’s drive. This time, there are a lot of people from the groom’s entourage. It is again a very beautiful evening between traditional dances, Turkish music and party.
One week in Dereören village
After these three intense days, Cansu and Emre leave on their honeymoon. I will spend my second week in Dereören with Nermin, her friends and her family. I learn to live at the Turkish pace, the day starts late, around 10/11am at the time of kahvalti. This brunch is a pure delight. I learn lots of recipes from Nermin. The good thing about cooking is that the language difference is not a problem. I start to know the names of vegetables in Turkish and I copy what she does. The days are very busy. I have my little missions: picking the eggplants, hulling the beans, giving water to the cows (I tried milking but I don’t have the knack yet…), in between all that there is the time of Turkish coffee shared with Nermin’s sister, Nihal or the neighbors. The afternoons are also very busy, between cooking, preparations to make for the winter, Nermin’s sister has beehives, so I learn to harvest honey in an artisanal way. And the evenings are just as lively. Nermin and Galip take me to several other weddings, now I am a pro at Turkish traditions. I also spend wonderful evenings with Nermin’s friends enjoying tea or coffee accompanied by delicacies and of course sunflower seeds (I am getting better at eating them with my tongue!). Everywhere I go, I have been superbly welcomed.
Çay and sunflower seeds by the Aegean Sea
And then the week ends beautifully. Nermin, Galip, Nihat and their friends have organized a day at the seaside! I understand that they never go there and that it is to please me, I am very touched. And we have a wonderful, refreshing day. And, although I should not be surprised, the Turkish picnic is 5-star! Burek, stuffed breads, tomato/cucumber salads, cheeses, olives, watermelon and of course, çay (tea) + sunflower seeds. We are having a great time. As with these 15 days, not being able to understand conversations and communicate with them frustrates me enormously. But I have a wonderful day with them. This is how to end these 15 incredible days with Cansu, his parents, his brother, their family and their friends.
Teşekkürler (thank you) !!
Because this Monday, September 2nd marks the end of my Turkish adventure. It is time to go back to France. Not having much time for the return, I take the bus option. Bus that I will take in Edremit, the big city near their home. I say goodbye to Nazire, his daughter, Sevgi, Nihal and his daughters, Anné (that means Mom in Turkish, that’s how I call Nermin’s mom, I only know her by that name). I receive gifts, way too many gifts! Clothes, honey, dried figs, hazelnuts, Turkish coffee. My bike bags are overflowing so Nermin and I made a package to send to France. Except that after 3 attempts, we understand that food and liquids are not allowed in cargo… So here I am loaded with all that in the bags! Until the end I am also offered something to eat. Before taking the bus, I am invited to have a quick lunch at Nermin’s aunt’s. I taste another Turkish specialty, the stuffing that they put in the vine leaves. Delicious. But there you go, the bus is waiting for me, we run with Nermin but we are on time. Galip joins us with my bike packed as best I could in a bike bag. It is time to say goodbye, very quickly, the bus does not wait! I do not like goodbyes, this time they were furtive. I did not have time to thank them for their welcome and the hospitality they reserved for me.
15 incredible days, filled with traditions, Turkish music, encounters, Turkish coffee, Turkish cuisine (lots and lots of it), weddings, sunflower seeds, love. Despite the language barrier, I had a blast. So I can’t wait for the next time I come back, and as promised, this time I’ll be better at Turkish! Now it’s time to go home…